How To Deal With a Break Up
There is no definitive set of guidelines to help you to deal with a break up. Each relationship you have is unique, and you and your partner are both individuals. But you can draw some wisdom from relatable situations. That is to say, you’re not the first to experience a break up, and you won’t be the last. The lyrics we hear in a song can help us to make sense of our own situations, and sometimes encourage critical reflection. It can be comforting to know that other people have felt what you’re feeling, and have still managed to move on and find happiness. You will be sad, and so you should. You may feel guilt, you may feel insecure and vulnerable. These feelings and emotions help us to learn and grow. So don’t ignore them, but rather, try to understand them.
Our ‘Deal With a Break Up Mixtape’
The list of songs below aim to help you make sense of your emotions while you deal with a break up. You’re not the only person in the world feeling the way you are, and sometimes it can help to share your experience with the musicians performing these songs. Some of them are from the perspective of angry, fragile minds. After all, it’s okay to be angry and upset. Others focus on gratitude and moving forward. Notions that we can all benefit from. We’ve tried to include a range of genres, and eras. So be open minded as you share your emotions with the artists listed below. Please note, the title of each song is a clickable link that will redirect you to youtube. Enjoy!
Is This Love by Cake
This track explores the anger and denial that can arise when you are trying to deal with a break up, and it does it quite well. At one point in the song, the artist confesses that they are wishing for their estranged spouse to actually be dead! Immoral, and not recommended, although it certainly paints a picture. The anger, and feelings of hurt and rejection are relatable, and sung over the top of a running bass line that is anything but sad and somber. It’s a great way to reflect on your own situation, without being a tearjerker.
Storms by Fleetwood Mac
In contrast to our first track, this one is sad and somber. Sadness, and self-pity are no stranger during the break up process, and Stevie Nicks definitely feels your pain. The real strength of this song in helping one deal with a break up, is the reflective nature of the lyrics. Stevie notes that whilst she would like to leave the relationship amicably, she’s never been quite so composed. “I’d like to leave you with something more… But never have I been a blue calm sea… I have always been a storm”. So, learn from this line, and don’t act regretfully. You can communicate your emotions, of course. Just try to do it as ‘blue calm sea’, rather than a ‘storm’.
Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head by BJ Thomas
Ahhh the good old days… Too corny for some perhaps, but the message is one that can be applied to many of life’s trials and tribulations. Regardless of what negative experience you’re facing, “…Crying’s not for me, ’cause I’m never gonna stop the rain by complaining”. BJ Thomas goes on to sing about how grateful he is to be alive and free, despite facing a challenging circumstance. The same principle can be applied when you deal with a break up. A trying time, yes. But you still have so much to be grateful for, so don’t allow yourself to despair for too long.
Love’s Been Good To Me by Johnny Cash
Originally by Frank Sinatra and Rod McKuen, this song is another reminder about being grateful for the experience. The end of anything good is always going to be difficult to accept, but the truth to remember is that it was good. Johnny Cash’s version is also great as it is performed in his later years, and sung with experience and nostalgic tones. Hopefully it encourages you to accept the end, but still be grateful for the good times that you shared with your old flame. Everything has an end, but hopefully upon reflection, “Once in a while, along the way, loves been good to (you) me”.
Caught Out There by Kelis
Kelis’ ‘Caught out there’ speaks of her hurt, denial and anger towards an unfaithful partner. Sadly, too many people can relate. Like the first track on our list, Kelis doesn’t hold back when addressing these emotions, stating quite plainly “I hate you so much right now!”. Her words are simple and honest, although her path of destruction not advisable. So listen and relate, but try to exhibit slightly more composed and logical behaviour when managing your emotions as you deal with a break up. Theres also a pretty raw and amusing film clip to match, so check it out!
Song For Mutya by Groove Armada ft. Mutya Buena
Another fun break up song. Up beat and Groove Armada-ry, this track confronts the reality of seeing your ex-partner with a new person. The great part about this track, is that Mutya is being coached by the voice in her head to act responsibly despite her emotional fragile state “don’t panic (panic) Mutya, don’t act erratic”. Good advice inner-self!
Beautiful World by Coldplay
A melancholy tune, this gem by Coldplay encourages reflection on the fact that despite things not being perfect, we still live in a beautiful world. And to exist in it, is grand. When you deal with a break up, this is something that you might forget to remember… So look toward to tomorrow, and the opportunities of this beautiful world!
Music heals all wounds. It is a form of communication that can evoke a different response from each listener, as they interpret it in a way that makes sense to them. There is a song for every situation, and the above list is just a few that hopefully you haven’t heard before (or in a while). If you have any songs that have helped you deal with a break up in the past, please share them with us in the comments section below. Thanks for reading!